Helping Family Members Cope With Their Loved Ones' Memory Loss
Posted: 09.30.2015
It’s not uncommon to experience at least mild memory loss as we age, but once memory loss progresses to dementia or the early stage of Alzheimer’s, a multitude of safety concerns arise. A few common concerns include wandering out of the house, forgetting to turn off the oven or stove, forgetting to take medication, taking medications too frequently, and forgetting to complete ADLs. As memory loss continues to decline, senior care professionals will not only have to tend to their senior patient’s needs, but also help family members cope with the changes and loss.
Helping Transition from Denial to Acceptance
When talking about a loved one with memory decline, family and friends with a usual patient and friendly demeanor often become quick to anger. This isn’t because they want to be unkind, but because they have yet to accept the changes to their loved ones memory. Combine that with the sometimes angry and frustrated behavior of the loved one who still has enough lucid moments to understand they’re not entirely lucid—and things can get quite complicated. Although everyone is aware of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and memory loss, this is one of those things we like to believe happens to that elusive “someone else.”
Keep in mind that friends and family members need time grieve the loss of their loved one, even if there are still moments—or days—when they seem like the person they once were. In fact, friends and family may be holding on to these moments of lucidity as signs of hope, which further fuels their denial.
Your goal is to be compassionate, but clearly communicate the danger of remaining in denial. Encourage friends and family to cherish their past memories, which will always be with them, but highlight the extreme importance of being with their loved one where they are today.
Coping with the Heartbreak
Watching a spouse, parent, or dear friend as they slowly—or sometimes quickly—lose their personality traits is heartbreaking. Not only losing personality, but there’s also the heartache of a parent not recalling who their husband of 50-years is, or who their children, grandchildren, or best friend are. Keep in mind that, even if acceptance has occurred, for many family members the pain of watching the decline—or of being “forgotten”—is overwhelming. Every family member will respond differently. Some will pull away, some will try to “fix” it—but in time most friends and family members will come to a place where they’re able to adjust their communication methods and level of expectation so that they can still have a loving and respectful relationship with the new version of their loved one.
Keeping seniors with Memory Loss Safe
If the senior experiencing memory loss is still driving, cooking, managing their medications, is currently living alone, or is often alone during the day—then some significant changes need to occur. A senior with declining memory can still live at home, but creating a safe environment is a must. Make sure you connect friends and family members with the resources they require, and suggest that they reach out to a social worker or geriatric care manager to ensure a solid care plan is put in place—one that is updated frequently to keep up with their memory loss.
Helping family members cope with memory loss is essential for maintaining the health and safety of their beloved seniors. Some will come to terms faster than others; just balance your persistence with patience.
Helping Transition from Denial to Acceptance
When talking about a loved one with memory decline, family and friends with a usual patient and friendly demeanor often become quick to anger. This isn’t because they want to be unkind, but because they have yet to accept the changes to their loved ones memory. Combine that with the sometimes angry and frustrated behavior of the loved one who still has enough lucid moments to understand they’re not entirely lucid—and things can get quite complicated. Although everyone is aware of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and memory loss, this is one of those things we like to believe happens to that elusive “someone else.”
Keep in mind that friends and family members need time grieve the loss of their loved one, even if there are still moments—or days—when they seem like the person they once were. In fact, friends and family may be holding on to these moments of lucidity as signs of hope, which further fuels their denial.
Your goal is to be compassionate, but clearly communicate the danger of remaining in denial. Encourage friends and family to cherish their past memories, which will always be with them, but highlight the extreme importance of being with their loved one where they are today.
Coping with the Heartbreak
Watching a spouse, parent, or dear friend as they slowly—or sometimes quickly—lose their personality traits is heartbreaking. Not only losing personality, but there’s also the heartache of a parent not recalling who their husband of 50-years is, or who their children, grandchildren, or best friend are. Keep in mind that, even if acceptance has occurred, for many family members the pain of watching the decline—or of being “forgotten”—is overwhelming. Every family member will respond differently. Some will pull away, some will try to “fix” it—but in time most friends and family members will come to a place where they’re able to adjust their communication methods and level of expectation so that they can still have a loving and respectful relationship with the new version of their loved one.
Keeping seniors with Memory Loss Safe
If the senior experiencing memory loss is still driving, cooking, managing their medications, is currently living alone, or is often alone during the day—then some significant changes need to occur. A senior with declining memory can still live at home, but creating a safe environment is a must. Make sure you connect friends and family members with the resources they require, and suggest that they reach out to a social worker or geriatric care manager to ensure a solid care plan is put in place—one that is updated frequently to keep up with their memory loss.
Helping family members cope with memory loss is essential for maintaining the health and safety of their beloved seniors. Some will come to terms faster than others; just balance your persistence with patience.